This post was inspired by a post by Mistress Lilyanna (No Gay Hand Job Porn).
The point here is that a submissive is to do the kink or activity of the dominant. That's the sub's true kink. To be controlled and at the mercy of his/her Dom/me. And in fact, this is what gets me off.
It's like this with M'Lady, and it's also like this with a new person with whom I have webcammed.
With M'Lady, I love giving her oral sex and annilingus. At one point she said "but you like doing that", and I said "well, I like it because YOU like it so much. Think about the action. Would any person want to do that for no good reason? It's not exactly the most pleasant or sanitary activity, no matter how clean the body is. I do it for you, sweety". And she was quiet and seemed to think about it. My hint was that I like doing sexual things for her, and the fact that she gets off, gets ME off. In my opinion, it's the natural attitude for any man, submissive or dominant.
My new webcam friend likes to watch men desparate to pee. The more they squirm around, the better. Women too, apparently. She almost never gives permission, and also gets off on the guy peeing in his pants.
Well, for me, this is not a turn on. Not being the desparate guy, nor watching a desparate woman. In fact, it's rather uncomfortable. Who would want to hold it in? I mean, seriously. When you gotta go, you gotta go. Especially a guy. Find a bush, let 'er rip, and get back to business, just be careful not to eat yellow snow.
BUT because my webcam friend gets off on it, and because she tells me what to do (take off the shirt, then the pants, then the rest, at HER rate), THAT is a turn-on. It is similar to M. Lilyanna's forced-bi, albeit with something a bit more benign. It also helps a lot that she likes to watch a guy masturbate. No complaints from me about that one.
In one session with my webcam friend, I kind of suggested that we experiment with anal sexual activity. Now, being webcam, I've got to do the action. So, I took out some rather thin dildoes, and started in on it. Of course, it was guided by her. But this was *my* kink, not her kink. Or so I thought. Turns out it was nobody's kink. She was not really interested in it, and in the end (pun intended), all it did for me was to give me a big pain in the ass. The aspect that interests me about being on the receiving end of anal sex is that it's kind of a role reversal. The woman is now penetrating me. BUT if she is not interested in it, then she's not going to get turned on by it. And since physically for me it isn't exciting (it's only exciting psychologically), then if my partner doesn't like it, it's a bust.
So, if I'm with a Domme partner, I get off on doing HER kink, not my kink. In fact, that IS my kink. My kink is being controlled by her, having her tell me what she wants, and doing it.
Mistress Lilyanna pointed out one thing that I take issue with, though. She is of the opinion that her sub should NOT want to do what she is forcing him to do. She had mentioned that she has a new sub who had a previous Domme who was training him to like gay porn. But M. Lilyanna didn't want that, she wants her sub to *not* like forced-bi, otherwise it's not forced. She wants him to do it for HER, not because he likes it. You know what, I hear. She has a point, and a very good one, in fact. I also get off on my Domme forcing me to do something that I wouldn't otherwise do. It's a powerful indication of control.
But I'm not bothered by the fact that both parties like doing something. For instance, with my webcam friend, she likes to look at men masturbating. She likes it when the guys begs her to let him start. For the record, I, like most men, also like to masturbate. Ah, but my webcam friend throws a curve into play. She lets me start, then says "stop, don't touch your penis" (she uses only clinical words). And *that* is something I woudn't normally do. So, here we have something that the Sub likes, and the Domme likes, but it's on the Domme's terms. Maybe that's the key. The fact that I like it, is fine with my webcam friend, she enjoys watching me enjoy it.
But it's on her terms.
And that what makes it D/S, in my opinion
The point here is that a submissive is to do the kink or activity of the dominant. That's the sub's true kink. To be controlled and at the mercy of his/her Dom/me. And in fact, this is what gets me off.
It's like this with M'Lady, and it's also like this with a new person with whom I have webcammed.
With M'Lady, I love giving her oral sex and annilingus. At one point she said "but you like doing that", and I said "well, I like it because YOU like it so much. Think about the action. Would any person want to do that for no good reason? It's not exactly the most pleasant or sanitary activity, no matter how clean the body is. I do it for you, sweety". And she was quiet and seemed to think about it. My hint was that I like doing sexual things for her, and the fact that she gets off, gets ME off. In my opinion, it's the natural attitude for any man, submissive or dominant.
My new webcam friend likes to watch men desparate to pee. The more they squirm around, the better. Women too, apparently. She almost never gives permission, and also gets off on the guy peeing in his pants.
Well, for me, this is not a turn on. Not being the desparate guy, nor watching a desparate woman. In fact, it's rather uncomfortable. Who would want to hold it in? I mean, seriously. When you gotta go, you gotta go. Especially a guy. Find a bush, let 'er rip, and get back to business, just be careful not to eat yellow snow.
BUT because my webcam friend gets off on it, and because she tells me what to do (take off the shirt, then the pants, then the rest, at HER rate), THAT is a turn-on. It is similar to M. Lilyanna's forced-bi, albeit with something a bit more benign. It also helps a lot that she likes to watch a guy masturbate. No complaints from me about that one.
In one session with my webcam friend, I kind of suggested that we experiment with anal sexual activity. Now, being webcam, I've got to do the action. So, I took out some rather thin dildoes, and started in on it. Of course, it was guided by her. But this was *my* kink, not her kink. Or so I thought. Turns out it was nobody's kink. She was not really interested in it, and in the end (pun intended), all it did for me was to give me a big pain in the ass. The aspect that interests me about being on the receiving end of anal sex is that it's kind of a role reversal. The woman is now penetrating me. BUT if she is not interested in it, then she's not going to get turned on by it. And since physically for me it isn't exciting (it's only exciting psychologically), then if my partner doesn't like it, it's a bust.
So, if I'm with a Domme partner, I get off on doing HER kink, not my kink. In fact, that IS my kink. My kink is being controlled by her, having her tell me what she wants, and doing it.
Mistress Lilyanna pointed out one thing that I take issue with, though. She is of the opinion that her sub should NOT want to do what she is forcing him to do. She had mentioned that she has a new sub who had a previous Domme who was training him to like gay porn. But M. Lilyanna didn't want that, she wants her sub to *not* like forced-bi, otherwise it's not forced. She wants him to do it for HER, not because he likes it. You know what, I hear. She has a point, and a very good one, in fact. I also get off on my Domme forcing me to do something that I wouldn't otherwise do. It's a powerful indication of control.
But I'm not bothered by the fact that both parties like doing something. For instance, with my webcam friend, she likes to look at men masturbating. She likes it when the guys begs her to let him start. For the record, I, like most men, also like to masturbate. Ah, but my webcam friend throws a curve into play. She lets me start, then says "stop, don't touch your penis" (she uses only clinical words). And *that* is something I woudn't normally do. So, here we have something that the Sub likes, and the Domme likes, but it's on the Domme's terms. Maybe that's the key. The fact that I like it, is fine with my webcam friend, she enjoys watching me enjoy it.
But it's on her terms.
And that what makes it D/S, in my opinion
Well said! I think it's possible to throw in some props and costume, but in essence, it has to be for her.
ReplyDeletedear butler, hello, nice blog. I totally enjoyed this post of yours. I agree, most things I want my sub to do are not things he would ask for. I had him worshipping my sweaty ass after I had worked out that day. he licked and sniffed and worshipped until I came hard on My vibrator. later he told me that wasnt one of his fav things to do but that it made him feel very submissive. guess what? I dont care if you like to do it..I care that you do it because I want it. that is what pushes allllll My femdomme buttons HARD.
ReplyDeleteMD
I quite agree. Of course, everyone has limits, but the issue here is that the Domme wants the Sub to do the task because he is *ordered* or *forced* to do it, not because he wants to do it. It pushes your buttons, and it indeed pushes mine as well. A good combination.
ReplyDeleteDominance and submission can be so complex. I LOVE being forced to do something "against my will". It makes me like it (if that makes any sense). There are all kinds of things I've never done and probably never will do unless a dominant woman gets soaking wet as I do it. That would make me want to do it do bad I could just burst!
ReplyDelete